Islamic calendar

Saturday, 26 December 2015

Rasa yang sik best

Angin yang menerpa daun-daun nipah di sebelah rumahku membuat bunyi berlora mententeramkan hati aku yang bergelora pula. Aku pulang sekejap saja kali ni. Tak sampai dua minggu. Kali ni betul-betul rasa macam holiday. Walaupumun aku pulang kali ni bukan atas sebab holiday pun sebenarnya. Aku buat research untuk thesis aku. Mungkin sebab cuti kali ni aku tak kerja dan duduk rumah saja. Dan mungkin aku dah ada bilik sendiri sekarang. Sebab sebelum ni aku kongsi bilik dengan anak buah. Agak rimas juga sebab bilik penuh dengan barang. Anak-anak buah yang kecil-kecil pun selalu lepak dalam bilik tu, buatkan aku semakin rimas.

I'm now a feeling a little bit relax. And I can't describe how happy and grateful I am being home. It's stress free here. Being around the family is the best thing ever. I hope my heart is at ease like this when I'm in Surabaya. I don't know but, my everyday in Surabaya is almost sucks. I know it is me, who can't live well with people that have different opinion. I am the one who failed to cope with the hardest situation. I only think that the only solution of my hard time in Surabaya is distance myself from my friends from the same country, or the other word, move from the house that we rent right now. It's all my fault you know. I tried to just let go what others did that hurt my feelings, but I feel kinda betraying myself. Why couldnt I stand for myself? Why should I let myself got insulted by them?

Those good and bad effort is battling inside me. I want to be kind to everyone. I want to be the most understanding person who can face the bad thing and forgive what everyone does to me. But instead, I got hurt deeply. I know the fact that anybody who holds their anger will granted a heaven by God. That is what I'm trying to do. It's just that, I just want to express my feelings. LOL :p

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